I Can't Crochet...

crochet
Originally uploaded by primalktc.

... or knit or do anything where the outcome would be a comfy blanket, scarf, or (and this is what I really want) legwarmers. I really really want to learn but the tutorials on the web are kinda confusing (not that I've really looked that hard or actually attempted to do it, I don't even have the proper equipment). Someone teach me, please??

Elizabethtown

elizabethtown
Originally uploaded by primalktc.

I've never seen this movie, and I never will. But every time I see the preview, it makes me want to catch a plane to wherever Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst are right now, and give them both a good smack. "No! Bad Movie!"

These two should be capable of more than a stupid, gushy, obscure love story. Give me a break.

Pity Party

doh
Originally uploaded by primalktc.

I was talking to Leen earlier today and she told me that she had recently caught up on my blogs, and it looked pretty depressing. I told her with the day that I was having, I had better stay away from writing anything, cause man it was a bad day. But here I am, smack in the middle of a pity party for myself, and I'm going to lay it all out for you.

The day started out normally enough, Isa and I went to a late lunch before heading out to study. Unfortunately, when we left the diner, I noticed that one of my tires was completely flat. Well, I can change a tire but I'm not very good at it, so I decided to ride with Isa to study and get Jacob or Brad to change it when they got home from work.

By this time, I was starting to feel pretty shitty. Since I got my first car at 16 (a lovely 1983 S-10 with holes in the floorboard, thank you) straight up until this very day, I have had nothing but a long slew of automobile problems. This flat tire, along with my mechanic telling me I need a new starter, and the weird noises that it makes all the time, all added up to make me have a near Sunfire-induced heart attack. I have neither time nor money for any of this.

There I was at Rendez-Vous, mulling over my unfortunate situation, when my mother called. Sometimes she has this uncanny ability to make me feel good about myself. This was not one of those times. Suffice to say, the conversation ended with her hanging up on me, and me blinking tears away. I hate crying, rarely do it, and feel like a huge baby when I do.

So Brad got off work, changed my tire, of course the spare was flat... yadda yadda yadda... just more bullshit. Finally got the car back to my place and now, here I am, wallowing in my car hatred and brokeness, too depressed to study.

*sigh* Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I will attempt something cheery for tomorrow.

Joey Harrington Can Not Play QB

joeybaseball
Originally uploaded by primalktc.

With only one decent pass and a rediculous amount of shitty ones this past week, I am once again and as usual totally fed up with Joey. Looks like Garcia may play this weekend and it will be a damn good thing if that happens.

I'm hungover, tired, and I need to study so I'm going to stop thinking about how much I absolutely can not stand Joey right now and just say that I think it's time for him to switch to baseball.

Self Censorship

censorship
Originally uploaded by primalktc.

Lately I've been having issues with this whole blogging thing, I mean, most of you know that I toss around the idea of scrapping the whole project entirely pretty regularly, but this is a somewhat seperate matter. Ultimately, I use blogging as a sort of release similar to journaling, which I've done since I was a kid (still have all of them too, now that is an amusing, embarrasing display). The problem is, I censor myself fairly regularly on this thing. I can't be sure who is reading and who is not. There is no telling who might stumble on my site and realize that they know me and the people I am talking about.

I mean, if I were to say: Last night I went out to Old Town and got completely hammered, then took five of my close friends home for an orgy, after which I ruthlessly kicked them all out on the street at 5 am... well some people may not approve. Although my mother really has no idea even what a blog is, I have a certian amount of paranoia that she will someday stumble across my writing. And since I am not one of the many anonymous bloggers out there (KTC has been a nickname for years and anyone who knows me knows that) I would certainly be screwed.

Also, I know that I have a few loyal readers out there, but there are also a few lurkers, and who can know who they are?? Someone who stumbled upon the blog but knows who I am? Flocks of ex boyfriends that I might want to bitch about? A professor who my good grades rely on? I know, I think about this too much. I shouldn't care, I should be able to say exactly what I am feeling, but I can't. My fingers just won't push the buttons.

And wouldn't the blog be a lot more interesting for you if I could just say what I want to say rather than the normal, "dang I am so busy with school and I just am drowning"? By faithfully reading my ramblings, you should be rewarded by a good juicy story every once in awhile. Also, I probably owe it to myself to disclose my life events honestly. Where is the personal release when I write about shit that doesn't even mean anything? I feel as though I should bust through my self censorship and go all out. I'll work on it.

Fall Break

ohshit
Originally uploaded by primalktc.

It's my first day of fall break and already I'm freaking out a little. I've got this list, this seemingly never ending long ass list of reading that needs to be done, papers that aren't going to write themselves, and oh yeah, a few mundane people things like an oil change and purchasing another keg bucket.

So much for a fall break! I'm going to try and cram cram cram this week, devoting myself to nothing that does not somehow relate to school so that I can be totally prepared... prepared for what? Well, let's just say, there may not be an end in sight yet, but there are rewards in sight, and I am looking forward to them. It's just a little too early to talk about it at this point. More on that later.

As for right now, as you lark about in the fall weather, raking the leaves up into a pile, jumping in, repeating.... just think of me cooped up inside surrounded by textboks, eyes bugging out from the laptop glare. The least you could do is order me a pizza, already.

Conspiracy Theory

secretmeeting
Originally uploaded by primalktc.

Let me just describe where I'm at right now... Drowning in social policy theory, suffering through "Human Development, A Life Span View," and so familiar with getting up at 6 am that my body WILL NOT let me sleep past 8.

I have a presentation on Ypsilanti demographics due on Monday, that Life Span crap exam on Tuesday, and a research paper on Michigan Law 710.68 due on Wednesday. I think I'm drowning...

Besides that, I just met with my field instructor who will place me at an internship later this month, and she basically told me that she has no idea what positions are open for the winter, let alone if I will get the position that I want. Lovely.

At this point, I am completely convinced that all of my professors (and others who hold influence over my academic career) hold a weekly secret meeting to decide exactly how to make my life difficult. Yes, it's grad school, yes, I know, it's supposed to be hard. But, dang!

You know I don't have anything due the week after next because that just makes it more frustrating. I can look at the black and blue ink that leaves virtually no white space on my calendar for this upcoming week, and stare at the blankness for the week after with the desperate longing for a time that will never come.

Only 15 more months to go. I'm hanging on.

Sometimes I Wonder...

taste tester
Originally uploaded by primalktc.

Actual conversation heard outside of the University of Michigan School of Social Work:

Student 1: So the ones that run around here all the time, they're chipmunks?

Student 2: No, they're squirrels, chipmunks are smaller.


Now I would have totally understood if there was even the slightest detection of an accent from either student, because language/word clarification would have been an obvious reason for the question. But if you're from the US, who doesn't know the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel? Am I wrong to be appalled here?